175. ...friendship of wolves.
(morning thinking)
Marcus Aurelius just said to me “there is nothing more degrading than the friendship of wolves”.
A wolf, in Roman times would have meant something very different to a wolf now. The idea I mean. A physical wolf then and now would have been much of a muchness. Big hairy dog.
In the present day I'd say that the friendship of a wolf might represent a familiarity and acceptance of the wild and dangerous nature of nature. Of the wild and dangerous nature of humanity. We can be wolves. It would be good if we could be less so. It probably doesn't do to bury, suppress or ignore those shadows at the edge of the firelight.
Jung felt that understanding our shadows should be a crucial part of personal development. The "shadow" refers to the unconscious parts of our personality that contain repressed weaknesses, desires, and instincts.
He'd say we should, acknowledge the shadows and understand its contents, becoming aware of the aspects of ourselves that we tend to hide or deny.
We should accept each Shadow. Accept these parts of the self rather than ignoring or rejecting them. This acceptance is key to understanding the totality of one's personality. You can't know what you won't look at.
When we can see and understand our Shadows we should integrate them, bringing these hidden aspects of our self into awareness. We should work to bring our darker elements into balance within the self.
In doing so, Jung believed that individuals might achieve greater self-awareness, psychological growth, and wholeness. Integration of the shadow helps to reduce the projection of one's unconscious issues onto others, leading to healthier relationships and a more authentic life.
But I don't think Marcus was writing about wolves as shadows.
This particular entry in his Meditations refers to those people who say “if I'm honest”. He thinks these people, with projected, superficial honesty, are to be distrusted. He thinks an honest person is, like a smelly person, immediately obvious in a room. He thinks we should be wary of people who feel the need to tell us they are honest, just as we should be wary of friendship with wolves.
My own Meditations this morning seems to have created a post of contradicting concepts - be wary of the shadow/embrace the shadow - and maybe I am a little muddled. That's the nature of morning thinking right? Still some little tendrils of sleep fog caught around the edges of my mind. Writing this stuff down and putting it out for you guys means I hold onto some of those thoughts beyond the reach of the fading inertia of sleep.
I can come back to it and rethink with a fresher daytime mind. Some of you will message or comment and that'll help clear things up.
We don't want to become the shadow, we don't want to be subsumed by our anger or sadness, but it doesn't do to repress or push back the darkness.
That'd take an ever bigger fire. Eventually we'd burn out.
We define ourselves by our actions and how we meet the world. We can do this with an understanding and acceptance of the difficulties we face without letting those difficulties shape who we are or how we show up.
Muddled thinking. I'm going to run.
Good heavens. Muddled, muddled, difficult.
Help?
Thank you for reading. I haven't written much recently. Life has been overly full and other writing has drawn my thumb and thought energy. Typing and thinking time I mean.
I wonder what a first time reader makes of this.
Why would you subscribe to this? I'm amazed as many people do. Amazed and grateful.
Thank you again. I love you.
Do or don't, as you will.
Here's the entry from Marcus's Meditations…
“The rotten pretence of the man who says, 'I prefer to be honest with you'! What are you on about, man? No need for this preface - the reality will show. It should be written on your forehead, immediately clear in the tone of your voice and the light of your eyes, just as the loved one can immediately read all in the glance of his lovers. In short the good and honest man should have the same effect as the unwashed - anyone close by as he passes detects the aura, willy-nilly, at once. Calculated honesty is a stiletto. There is nothing more degrading than the friendship of wolves: avoid that above all. The good, honest, kindly man has it in his eyes, and you cannot mistake him.”