165. ...studying, practising and training one's own self...

(Morning thinking)

Paul Lambie’s Daily Stoic Journal

The daily Stoic Journal asks “what am I studying, practicing, training?”.

Three years ago at the time of first responding to this question, I was on an academic path, I was freshly in love with anthropology, my head was full of sociology, psychology and philosophy.

Superficially I was studying for a degree but really I was trying to understand the world and my place in it. I was studying to find some peace of mind and hopefully through that, i’d build a better me.

University was a misstep. The structure of learning that an establishment like Edinburgh Uni needs its students to follow didn't at all work for me. By the University of Edinburgh’s measures I was a failed student.

It stung at first but I realised I don't really need a degree and there's no university in the world qualified to give me a certificate in being a better Paul. I doubled down on digging into who I am.

In the following year's Daily Stoic Journal entry I reflected on the ‘failure’ of my academic career and the reframing of my studies.

I wrote…

“The idea of studying, practising and training one's own self makes every failure and misstep all the more valuable.”

I could see, with some hindsight, that ‘failing’university had taught me important lessons about myself and even though I fell very short of graduating with a gown and hat and paper scroll, I came away with some great insights into who I am, how I learn and how I express myself.

Does making ourselves the focus of our study, with a goal of being a better version of ourselves over time take away the possibility of failure? If what we're doing is pushing boundaries, tinkering, trying new things, just trying, then ‘failures’ become data points, measures by which we adjust, reframe or redirect our energies.

We can't fail ourselves if our aim is to change and grow. At each point what we might have called a failure is just another option, perspective or experience we've added to our understanding of the world and our place in it.

So then, by that rationale, with growth as our purpose, can we never fail?

Or is that me making excuses?

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Is it? Is failure always a useful data point? Is that perspective a cop out?

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What are you studying, practicing, training?

Thanks for reading. If it's your first time reading I hope you'll hang about a bit. It's aye different I think. There's very little in here that you'd call I theme. I don't think. It's a changeable, movable feast.

You could subscribe and let me know if you spot any themes.

Are you doing the Daily Stoic Journal? How's it working out? What did you think of today's question. Let me know?

Thanks for reading. I love that you did.

Paul.